The Jonas brothers touched down in Madrid amongst a throng of fans to promote some cool thing I couldn’t care less about! They said the cool thing was exciting and that they liked it or something! Whoa! Exciting!

I love these guys as much as anyone (excpet 12 year-old girls), but I’m a little worried we’re gonna be seeing a lot of heart breaking tell all books in, like, ten years or so. Maybe even a falling out, and a dramatic coming together in a splendid televised event! The possibilities are endless and thrilling!

Miley Cyrus celebrated her Sweet 16th birthday party on the weekend and hot damn, did this girl look sexy! Sure, it’s depressing when you think Disney’s taken a 14 year-old girl and pimped her out like a cadillac into a franchise now worth 4 billion dollars, but if you forgot all that thinking stuff, she’s just another super famous hot girl that we can all lust over!

Whee! Ignorance is fun and her parents are awesome!

Enjoy these hot and sexy pictures of Miley Cyrus in the provocative little outfit she sang in on her Bday celebration! Remember, click to enlarge!

Everyone ’round these here parts knows how much I love me some Hayden Panettiere, so it’s not easy for me to say that these latest pictures to emerge of Hayden are very… average.

You’ve gotta take some risks to stay on the freshest wave of fashion, and oh holy mother of God did Hayden Panettiere take some risks here. I still love her to death, but right now she reminds me of this homeless dude across the street that gives blowjobs for 8 peanuts and pickle.

He’s not that good.

Seventh Heaven star, Beverley Mitchell, was married to her boy Michael Cameron recently and it looked like a beautiful and happy wedding!

Jessica Biel showed up with her boyfriend Justin Timerblake, but the couple seemed to be gracious enough to refrain from overshadowing the wedding!

Also, Mackenzie Rosman was there, but I couldn’t find any decent pictures of her so, yeah, damn…

Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, and some chick named Ashley Tisdale spent the day travelling around Paris with a few other of their High School Musical co-stars.

Vanessa Hudgens gotta be my favorite Disney starlet right about now, and I know there’s quite a few of you ladies out there who’d argue quite heartily that Zac Efron’s the sexiest damn man on the planet. So my question to you is, how hot do you think their kids’ll be? My guess, on a scale from 1 to 10, is 200. Billion.

Damn, if only I wasn’t born until sometime next year…

Blake Lively’s got a new love interest on her hit show Gossip Girl, John Patrick Amedori, and Gossip Girls has all the details.

I don’t get what it is with hot girls digging the scruffy prepubescent facial hair look. If that’s truly what’s all the ladies want, I can have that look down pat in 48 hours, but somehow I imagine my noticeable lack of fame, fortune, and a left eye would temper such a style…

The cast of Disney’s High School Musical 3 touched down in Paris to promote their new movie! Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are easily the headline here, but Ashley Tisdale and the black guy nonetheless tried to get a little spotlight for themselves too.

Does anyone else find it crushingly depressing how hard Disney pimps out their stars? Sure, fame and money is good and all, but it seems like once Disney discovered the goldmine that is Miley Cyrus aka: Hannah Montana, the company’s become intent on drilling all their kids (no pun intended) until the well’s dry.

(source)

Katy Perry was looking hot and stunning at a Christian Dior fashion show yesterday, it’s just too bad she brought a homeless guy with her. Wait? What!? That’s her boyfriend, Travis McCoy!? Really!? Wow…

See ya later folks, I’m moving to Hollywood where even the ugliest and smelliest of dudes can get the hottest of girls!

(source)

Speaking of newlyweds, Ellen DeGeneres who recently married her longtime GF Portia de Rossi, was spotted hanging out with none other than the infamous Paris Hilton!?

On my list of favorite celebrites, I’d have to say Ellen DeGeneres is right up there with Jon Stewart and Harrison Ford, so why she’s hanging out with Paris Hilton is absolutely beyond me. Could it possibly be that Paris Hilton is “good people”?

No, no that’s impossible. Impossible. Mind you, there are crazier things going on the in the good ol’ US of A right now…

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson were married in BC, Canada on the weekend and all I can say is poor, poor Ryan. Sure, right now Scarlett Johansson may one of the hot and sexy girls in Hollywood, but let me tell you that in a couple years those gorgeous melons are gonna sag down to her knees and Ryan will be stuck with a saggy Bilbo Baggins.

That being said, there’s worse things than being married to those boobs. I just haven’t decided whether or not I’m jealous yet, y’know?