Infuriating! Speculation is swirling that ryan gosling and hayden panettiere may be Hollywood’s newest couple! Apparently young hercules chatted her up at a restaurant, hugged the shit out of her, and then the pair exchanged numbers. Friend, i can tell you exactly how that conversation went…
Ryan: Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt, i just wanted to say how inspiring i thought your whole plight with dolphins was.
Hayden: OMG! UR LIKE SOOOOO HOT!
Ryan: Generic humorous statement which sounds very much like sincerity and i want to f*ck the shit out of you (but in a friendly way).
Hayden: LOL! I TOTALLY AM KEWL WITH THAT! I GTG BUT HAVE MY NUMBER K!?
Ryan: I am a god and you will be my angel, an angel I f*ck.
THE END.
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