suprising! owen wilson is reportedly dating michelle ryan, the star of nbc’s bionic woman! owen wilson is pretty much a god, so it’s very kind of him to date such a disadvantaged young lady! though, if i were as awesome as him, you damn well know who i’d go after, no offense to the british cripple and whatnot.

dramatic! kate hudson is reportedly seeking to get back together with owen wilson after his recent suicide attempt because it was only after she nearly lost him forever that she realized how much she truly loves him. jesus. the suicide rate is gonna go through the roof now (or is it floor?) for guys seeking to reconnect with the one that got away. oh well, less competition for you and I then friend, unless it’s me vs. you, than…erm…dang…not the face!

splash news say owen wilson did nothing of slitting wrists, after new pictures of him showing no bandages. it is still sad that owen did not feel good, but less tearful now, yes?  what a good day, yes?

friends are hard, chazy know thz.  NYP say owen wilson almost dead with suicide after fight with his friend. he is nice today but thz still very sad.  he should make friends with ovechkin and he will be very happy yes!? i hope he gets ok!