WHOA! You all know I love li’l miss Hayden Panettiere like crazy, and when I’m not dreaming up ways to split her and Milo Ventimiglia up I’m probably sleeping or dead, but HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! THIS BITCH WENT CRAZY AT WORLD CHILDREN’S DAY!
Stunning! Heroes star Hayden Panettiere stopped by the Larry King set to sign a few autographs and answer a couple questions yesterday. Rumor is she’s loooking for a new place to stay in LA and none other than our very own Milo Ventimiglia has asked her to bunk with him.
Do we get a sense she’s gettin tired of the needy old guy? Hmm…
Touching! Hayden Panettiere recentlty visited a seniors home capitol hill and said something about whales. I couldn’t hear what she was saying admidst all the old, but it sounded like, “something something whales, something something don’t f*cking touch me, something something I’m calling the police.”
Old people are perverts, but in washington they’re called politicians. Hmm… Interesting…
Exciting! The cast of Heroes recently attended the Jules Verne Film Festival to pass some time while waiting for the writers to return. I can’t imagine being an actor in Hollywood right now. Writers literally control 99% of what they say and do, however will they act without a brain!? It’s only a matter of time before actors and actresses deevolve further and get us all killed!
Whew! We’ve finally reached the end of another painfully long week! Welcome to the weekend! I must apologize off the bat for rather sporadic updates as of late. I will offer no excuse other than the fact my cable company is run by retarded monkeys too tall to fit into human clothes. Enjoy the festival folks, I’ll see you monday!
THE THREE MOST POPULAR
#3 = HELLO, I IS MICHAEL JACKSON! WAIT! NO, NO I’M HATCHER!
#2 = HELLO, I IS HAYDEN/PERFECT!
#1 = HELLO, I IS HAYDEN/THRILLING SUPERSTAR!
THE SUPER SECRET FUN SITE
(kiwisbybeat.com/minus) Minus is a whimsical li’l journey that feels more like a daydream than a webcomic. It’s about a magical little girl that’s more cute’n clever than funny, but is all-round good times regardless. Unfortunately, the comic panels are too large to properly preview, so you’ll just have to take my word that this site rocks.
THE SUPER SECRET FUN VIDEO
Thrilling! Hayden Panettiere picked up her li’l bro, Jansen, from school yesterday and that undoubtedly qualifies as news! I know what you’re saying, “Chazy! Whoa, dude! You’re flooding me with so much exciting information! When will the roller coaster end!?” To that I can only reply that the magic can only last as long as you believe my friend, as long as you believe… so… you working hard or hardly working?
Infuriating! Speculation is swirling that ryan gosling and hayden panettiere may be Hollywood’s newest couple! Apparently young hercules chatted her up at a restaurant, hugged the shit out of her, and then the pair exchanged numbers. Friend, i can tell you exactly how that conversation went…
Ryan: Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt, i just wanted to say how inspiring i thought your whole plight with dolphins was.
Hayden: OMG! UR LIKE SOOOOO HOT!
Ryan: Generic humorous statement which sounds very much like sincerity and i want to f*ck the shit out of you (but in a friendly way).
Hayden: LOL! I TOTALLY AM KEWL WITH THAT! I GTG BUT HAVE MY NUMBER K!?
Ryan: I am a god and you will be my angel, an angel I f*ck.
THE END.
10
Dec
Charming! Hayden Panettiere gave a speech to a bunch of distinguished high school students at the Weather Channel’s Forecast Earth Summit [read more here]! I am jealous as hell of these damn “distinguished” high school students! I am a distinguished human being! Why must we seperate everything into classes!? And, most importantly, what is Hayden Panettiere’s phone number!?
worrisome! without writers to orchestrate complex relationships and interesting gossip storylines, even the “personal lives” of celebrities like hayden panettiere are suffering! everything was staged! what will happen between her and milo ventimiglia? will they wed or elope? will she turn back to stephen colletti? find out this and more after the exciting conclusion of the writers strike!
even crazy outcasts freaks like the hogans are being covered these days, how low can things go!?
what!? could this be the week hayden panettiere and milo ventimiglia are finally bumbed from top spot!? and if so, whoever could it be that is capable of such a feat!? find this out and more, in another exciting installment of iamnoisy’s weekend festival mode! see you monday, enjoy the turkey leftovers, and have the best weekend ever!
THE THREE MOST POPULAR
#3 = HELLO, I IS STAR WARS EDITION HAYDEN!
#2 = HELLO, I IS MILEY VISITING THE OLD!
#1 = HELLO, WE IS ZANESSA, THE CUTE BOMB!
THE SUPER SECRET FUN SITE!
toothpastefordinner.com = all the proof needed to establish that content is king. the end.
THE SUPER SECRET FUN VIDEO!
