innovative! to keep the kids safe and connected, oprah winfrey has provided cell phones to the students at her scandal ridden oprah winfrey leadership academy for girls. this woman should be president. cancer, crime, and illeteracy in america would all be mere memories with this woman. god herself would come down to proclaim oprah’s righteousness. such a perfect person she is.

surprising! the oprah winfrey leadership academy is placing staff on leave as investigations begin to crackdown on the multiple allegations of abuse on campus [story here].

you can tell how fondly one think his/her self when they name a school: the oprah winfrey leadership academy. so you can pretty much bet oprah winfrey is none to happy about having her name smeared by the school which cost her a whopping 3% percent of her net worth. wait. 3%!? what a generous amount! so large! she’s practically jesus!

POP MATH QUIZ!
i have 60 dollars in the bank. if i give 2 bucks (3%) can i be as glorified and conceited as oprah?