Madonna is still alive!? REALLY!?

Sooner or later Madonna’s gonna have to call her tour off because she’s become little more than fodder for amazing jokes about trolls and gremlins. All things must come to an end my friends, and it’s about time Madonna realized this.

Lindsay Lohan turns down Playboy

Lindsay Lohan has reportedly turned down a $700,000 offer to pose topless for Playboy magazine.

I bet you one million dollars that if Playboy set out to raise money to offer Lindsay, they’d get a hella lot more than $700,000.

Lucky for you we’ve already got Lindsay Lohan nude pictures in our NSFW section.

Zac Efron heads off to Toronto.

Zac Efron is heading to the Toronto Internationl Film Festival, and apparaently that’s news. Exciting news.

Speaking of exciting…

Britney Spears will open the VMA’s

With any luck she’ll be back in shape and wearing the good ol’ clothes we loved her for, or, with better luck, she’ll retire from the vicious world of Hollywood and start a new career that let’s you keep a soul.

Tara Reid is sexy and cleavagy

Egotastic has a fresh set of sexy Tara Reid pictures and man are they worth a look!

She hasn’t looked this good for a long time.

That’s all for today and I apologize for the lackluster posting today - I’ve got a lot of work outside of the interwebs and need to get going, so enjoy your weekend and see you on monday!

Peace.

I’ve had a crush on Christina Ricci since Casper the Friendly Ghost came out and so it is with great joy I proclaim that Egotastic’s latest bikini picture set is truly the answer to your prayers.

Well, the answer to prayers begging for hot pictures of a moderately attractive girl in a bikini at least.

Kelly Ripa hit up an Electrolux event to promote their new washer and dryer line. I’m gonna have to stop writing now because the excitement of this particular party was simply overwhelming and no words could do justice to the glory that was the Electrolux event.

Keira Knightley attended the premiere of her new movie, The Duchess, and the whole damn crowd just applauded and carried on like nothing was going on while Keira faded into skeleton right in front of them.

Holy crap.

I love this girl to death, but eat some damn Mcdonald’s or whatever the hell they have there in England girl! You can’t be cute when you’ve starved to death!

Katy Perry was in town to shoot the video for her new single, Hot N Cold, recently and by God did she look good. Real good. Check out Gossip Girls for more pictures of the always sexy KAty Perry!

Sigh. Ah, it’s nice to see wholesome love flourish between two people admist the craziness of today’s news and gossip.

Cameron Diaz has always been a favorite of mine so I hope these two carry on with the love and good times, or I’ll saw Paul Sculfor’s legs off with a spoon.

If only everyone could embrace true love as these two. [source]

Disclaimer: I love Hayden Panettiere. If I could pick only 10 actresses to not crush with a giant hammer, she’d probably be somewhere on that list.

With that out of the way,

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Has all of hollywood gone completely insane!? Who, in their right mind, could send Hayden out looking like this!? First we get news of Kristen Bell dating that retarded dude, then Pamela Anderson starts dating Micahel Jackson, and now we have Hayden Panettiere looking like Kermit the frog or some cracked out whore from the 40’s!

WTF!? Is nothing sacred?

The latest in celebrity gossip is not the fact that Pamela Anderson and Michael Jackson are dating, no, that’s not a suprise to anyone ’round here, no the real news is that they’re on their second date.

What!? Is the whole world going crazy or is Pamela trying to finish off the last “celebrity” she hasn’t had sex with yet. Words can’t describe the disbelief my friends.

Holy crap.

Kristen Bell, perhaps the cutest girl in the world, dated Dax Shepherd, a homely hack, and has now supposedly dumped him in favor of the Mac, uh, Justin Long.

My hunch is that she’s practicing her dating skills on f-list “actors” so that when she moves up to the A-list guys, she knows exactly how to charm ‘em. No, no that doesn’t sound like her at all. Damn.

Kristen, sweetie, you’ve got to set some damn standards for yourself. This is just getting ridiculous.

Not only is Michelle Rodriguez officially free now, she’s been booked up to appear in the upcoming season of Lost!

With any luck Michelle’s bad girl persona will be confined to the rolls she plays and she’ll spend the rest of the time using her insanely hot girl next door charms to woo back the viewing public!

What? A man can dream can’t he?